i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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