I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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