my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
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he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
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On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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