it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
