help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
