Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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