what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
