How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
