What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
