hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
