Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
