I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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