Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
