garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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