worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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