I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
