whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
