Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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