I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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