The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
