I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
