yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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