If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
