fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
