champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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