Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
