It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
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