:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
