Dual....:-)
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
