Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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