i jhust puked up my retainher.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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