Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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