Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
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Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
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