he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The beer is more important than you right now.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
