I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
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I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
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Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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