Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
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i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
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well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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