She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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