help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
