her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize