I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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