id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
