I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
