where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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