she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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