So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
