i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
