she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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