You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
