May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
