Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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