Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Small penises have feelings too.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
