so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
