Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
me + whiskey = a bad person
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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