Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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