Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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