That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
