a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize