If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
