I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
