if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
