It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize